Teach me to stay.

It is so natural to work to avoid pain, hardship, and suffering. People will travel thousands of miles, leave, or get very good at pretending in order to escape pain. But, what does it look like to stay, especially knowing it will be impossibly hard,  heart-wrenching, and will push you beyond your human limits and desires?

LORI:

Wanna know the number one compliment I have received in the last 6 years? Besides my gray hair, it’s regarding my commitment and persistent care for my husband through his terminal diagnosis. I have also been told all the stories where people didn’t stay and I squirm under the judgment and shame they are casting- because I am also familiar with the internal struggle that must have gone on there.

I have given my husband over 460 showers (and I’ve dressed, shaved, and put deodorant on him that many times too.)

I have fed him over 2,200 meals, now multiply that by 10 for the sips of water I’ve given him. 

I have scratched over 3,000 itches while kids call for me from the other room.

I have also prayed well over 5,000 prayers and cried that many x10 tears.

I have not been hugged by him in over 4 years (the closest thing would be those times I crawl on his lap in his wheelchair and pull his arms around me.)

He hasn’t opened a door, filled our gas tank, tackled a house project, done dishes (or a single chore for that matter), bore the weight of child-care, or held my hand in years!

And yet, I've stayed.

They talk of politicians having staying power through an election, or the athletes with the most staying power prove to be the most accomplished, or a business making it through the ebbs and flows of a volatile market showing remarkable staying power, but equally admirable is your staying power when you're tested hard in life.

Oxford defines staying power as "the ability to maintain an activity or commitment despite fatigue or difficulty".

Ironically, we're limited in what we can do right now, but staying put is something we can do! And staying put, has been a teacher in and of itself to us.

While we desire to stay because of our love and commitment to one another, some days are so dang hard that our resolve is tested. When our will fails and we look around us and forget we in fact have enough, we remind each other we have what's important (Psalm 23). When we feel helpless and out of options, we let go and just stand where we are (Ephesians 6:13-14). When we feel like we can't fight anymore I remember the Lord is fighting for me (Exodus 14:13). When I feel like I can't make it through another day I am reminded to be still and be patient (Psalm 37:7).

Read each verse and you will see we are called to stand still and be patient- stay the course!

Fortunately, our staying power to "maintain a commitment despite fatigue or difficulty" is not done in our own strength, but His! God only requires for us to be still, and stand, and He will fight on our behalf.

Staying power is also improving our reaction time. Our hard days knock us out, but it's working that muscle of returning to the source of our strength to regroup, recalibrate on what is eternal, and hold onto the Truth that sets us free -perhaps a little quicker than the last time.

I couldn't imagine practicing how to stand still to trust God with a better man by my side.

Our wedding day! 11 years ago.

10 year anniversary

JUSTIN:

"In sickness and health, til' death do us part". Saying these words eleven years ago was easy and a typical part of most marriages - ours was no different.

But what about if you actually mean it? What if you actually get tested in this area?

Honestly, I don't think it's really possible to know if you mean it until you are tested. I had no clue what those words meant until I got diagnosed with ALS six years ago. Our wedding day was the most magical day of my life and I had snagged the most beautiful woman as my partner in adventure- we were ready to take life by the horns.

One thing about staying power is it doesn't start when disaster happens; it begins building long before. It begins with a belief and focus on something larger than yourself and deeper than your own needs and wants.

God has made us all in His image and in a way that we all collectively make up His bride. Similar to how a body has many parts that function as one body we each have a specific and special part to play in establishing the Kingdom of God. Earthly marriage is an incredible reflection of this and the lowering of the individual rights to elevate the purposes of the marriage unit is a foundational element.

Staying power always has one lowering oneself to something higher. Pride will bankrupt this every time. God in his goodness is constantly nudging us in this because He knows that storms will come in our lives and He wants us to be ready. He wants us to practice living submitted to his higher purposes so when the winds come and test our sails they will blow us deeper into his grace and not bash us to pieces on the rocks. He is constantly refining us if we allow him to, and the result is a staying power far greater than you could imagine. You won't think that you can do it or that you are strong enough to survive. But, you will find that somewhere along the line God has birthed a special power in your inner person, a staying power that will pull you through the mire. You will find that it is indeed not your strength that matters but His strength in you. You will find that all that practice lowering yourself to a higher purpose has made you resilient to the firey darts.

I pray that God would open your eyes to the staying power he is forming in you and that you are encouraged to walk uphill when life demands it.